Throughout new periods of growth in my business, I have always struggled with the Fear of Success. Although it wasn’t obvious at first, the underlying patterns and beliefs that kept me stuck all stemmed from the fear of being more successful than I was.
As I launched my podcast, I feared, who is ever going to listen?
As I hit 10k months, I worried about the problems and responsibility more money would bring.
As I booked large speaking gigs, I feared them figuring out how amateur I was.
As I took on top coaches as clients, I feared I wouldn’t be good enough.
All of these fears boiled down to one major fear.
The Fear of Success.
The worst part about the Fear of Success isn’t the fear as such, it’s the inner critic chatter that just doesn’t stop. It’s the talk of not being good enough that causes the procrastination, the money blocking, the playing small and hiding out.
When I landed my biggest paid speaking gig to date, my inner critic, brought me to my knees and almost ruined everything.
I booked the gig, sold myself to the organisers and got to planning the 90-minute presentation.
I had 6 weeks to prepare and I was nervous as hell. So for the first two weeks, do you know what I did?
Nothing. Yep, nothing. Hello Procrastination at it’s best!
I wrote nothing, I didn’t prepare the slides or practice anything.
The deadline to provide my final slides for the presentation was at 2 weeks prior to the event so I knew that I had to have the full presentation finalised by that date, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to change it.
The fear set in, my inner critic went nuts and I had to challenge it every day.
It would say “You don’t know what you’re doing, you’ve never done a presentation this big before”.
I would counter with ” Yes you do, you speak in public all the time and you know what you’re doing. You have enough experience to add value!”
Fear would step in and say “You’re gonna fall on your face in front of hundreds of people”.
I would counter with “It’s OK if you do, it will get a laugh and the audience will connect with how real and genuine you are.”
Fear would shout ” You’re too fat to be on stage”
I would counter with ” No matter your size, you have plenty of value to offer and all you need is your voice.”
On our journey to success, fear will always be present. We are never going to be able to eradicate it, so it’s important that we learn to dance with it. As long as you don’t let it take the lead.
You are in charge and fear can step aside – so let it know that you are in control.
Don’t let fear stop you from going after what you want and achieving the success you deserve.
When does your inner critic talk trash to you? What’s it’s favorite line? Do you manage it with grace or get sucked into its drama?
Don’t worry you’re not alone. The trick is to find as much kindness for yourself as possible, and the way I do it, is talk to myself as if I was one of my best friends.
If she was talking trash about herself, I would tell her to stop it and then say something kind.
Give it a go and let me know how it works for you.
Want to know what fear is holding you back?